Take Off The Glasses.....They're Rose Colored

It seems that there has been allot said in the chat rooms I visit about real and reality.Of course the number one complaint by both the Masters and the slaves is that the other isn't real. I'm not going to get into that issue right now and may at a later date. However, I would like to talk about another REAL issue. The issue of reality. I see it all the time in the advertisements in the chat rooms. " Sub seeks 24/7/365 as a dungeon slave caged, collared, and shackled." or a Master advertising " Wanted 24/7/365 slaved, cbt,tt, flogging, caged, collared, and gagged. will be kept naked.". I'm sure you have come across them as I have. The problem with these ads is that they aren't real. Don't get me wrong, the ads themselves are real but what they are advertising isn't. You see there is the funny thing that gets in the way.....Life! It would be nice if these conditions could actually hold up but they really can't. Unless of course you are a Master Millionaire or a slave trust fund baby, and there are a few. But these are the exceptions to the rule and a rarity. There are things that have to be done. What seems to be advertised is nothing more than a 24hr porno that doesn't exist.. There may be a few who disagree with me, but lets face it, the laundry has to get done, the yard has to be mowed, and you aren't going to be able to do that naked without getting arrested unless you are way out in the country. The bills have to be paid, the groceries have to be bought, and there is the cooking and cleaning and all the mundane things that make up what we call life. Now granted, in some cases a person can strip naked every time they are in the house, but not outside. Even tall fences have their limits. Especially if there is two-story houses around it. So it would seem that the people who put these ads out there, both Masters or slaves, are really just into a fantasy that they probably will jack off to while you chat with them. Thus really making them not real or knowing what it is to be what they say they want to be or what they are.I say that to say this......
Being a slave is work. It isn't a 24hr porno and it isn't just about sex.It is about submission, work, learning, and yes pleasure. If you are a slave you will have domestic duties to complete. That means cleaning, washing , laundry, and grocery shopping. You will be the one to do the cooking unless the Master likes doing it. There will be dusting and vacuuming to do. Then there is the yard work to be done. Mowing, pruning, and planting. Then to top it off You will have to work more than likely. Yes I said the dreaded four letter word. Unless you are with a Master of means or that won the lottery, you will have to work outside the home as well as all that is needed to be done in the home. You will have to pay your share. of course that depends on what your financial arrangements are with the Master Before you even meet.
Being a Master is a bowl of cherries either. I have asked several Masters what it is to be one. They have different takes on it but there is allot of commonality.What I got out of it is that being a master is pleasure yes, but there is teaching to be done, patience to be had, and work. The Master has to teach the slave how he likes things to be. That takes allot of patience on his part. it is really work to dominate and transform a slave into the way that you want. Not to mention that you have to clothe it, feed it, and make sure he is in good health. so a Master just isn't just sitting on easy street either.
A Master/slave relationship can be a wonderful thing. Just make sure you are living in reality when it comes to getting into one. Each person in the relationship must enrich the other so that you are enhancing the lives of both.
Well I have gone on long enough. As always if you have a topic that you would like to see discussed or a comment on the topic that is, write me at raven15@consolidated.net

Mother May I?.....And Other Forms of Respect

From the time we are little we have been taught to show respect of others. To older people, to people of authority, and to our parents. So why should it be any different when looking for a Master/Dom? I thought about this when I noticed something in the Leather BDSM chat rooms that I frequent. It was the advertisements that are posted in the chat rooms. They go something like this, "Looking for a Master 24/7 long term pvt to chat" or "submissive slave looking for permanent 24/7 position please pvt me" which I find inherently wrong and disrespectful. It is basically demanding that a Master private you which isn't very submissive in my book. It also conveys the idea that Masters are just sitting around waiting with baited breath for a slave to private. They are forgetting something, it is called the Law of Supply and Demand. In the business world when there is a flood of a specific product on the market, then it has very little value and not worth much. There are about 15 slaves for every Master that is out there. You take out the fakes, liars, and wanker fantasy folk and you still have a bout 5 to every one Master. Which means there are more slaves than there are Masters making them not the hottest thing out there. Therefore demanding to be privated is not the way to go.
Fortunately I have a Master and am not looking at this time, However if I were looking I would do the following. Secure a membership to the website that I wanted to look in. Nothing in life worthwhile is free. So buckle up and show someone you are serious about this and buy a membership to the site. Then the FIRST thing to would to READ THE PROFILES! There is something to be said for not reading a profile first. For one thing, you know that you will be talking to someone that has similar interests. By the same token , you need to fill out the profile for yourself. From the Masters that I have talked with, there is nothing as frustrating as looking at a blank profile when searching for a slave or for a Master for that matter. so that goes for both the Master and the slave. After perusing the profiles and finding a Master that interests you, you should let him know that you are interested. How you do this in the chat room is by addressing them as SIR and asking in the main room if you may private them. Then it is up to Him and the ball is in His court. You NEVER private a Master/Dom without asking permission first. From this first contact the Master will set the parameters for how the two of you will get to know each other and how to proceed. A word of caution should be said here, getting to know someone before you meet them takes time. Allot of chats, e-mails, and telephone calls. If a Master asks you to uproot your life after a five minute talk than you need to take heed.
WEll as always , I invite you to e-mail me with comments or suggestions for a new entry at raven15@consolidated.net Happy Hunting and have a GREAT Day!

Pride Goes Before a Fall..........But It Doesn't Have To

They say pride goes before a fall. It begs the question "is pride wrong?" There is a fine line between pride and arrogance. It is that arrogant pride that I believe they were talking about when this phrase was made up. Taking pride in one's self is a healthy way to be. I'm not just talking about the physical, but also the mental and spiritual. Being a well rounded individual is what we all strive to be. I have come across a few Masters that have fit the arrogant pride label. They have taken the idea of dominance and control to the extreme and believe they are God himself. There is a danger to the sub if they are in a relationship with this kind of Master. Arrogant pride can come at the expense of the person's emotional health. Most people with this arrogant pride have cut themselves off emotionally. Making them dangerous to everyone around them.
I say that to say this......there is nothing wrong with being proud of what you are. Whether you are a Master or a slave, be proud of it. I have engaged in conversations with Masters that almost seem apologetic about being one. It is if they haven't dealt with the demons of homosexuality that one deals with when one realizes that they are gay. The Master should be proud of the fact that he can know another human being so well as to be able to push the limits of Domination to the point of expansion and yet meet both his needs and that of the other persons. That is a rare gift that he has and shouldn't be taken lightly. And by the same token a slave should be proud of what they are as well. The slave should be proud that he knows another human being well enough as to be able to anticipate and submit to the right level of another human being in order to fulfill both his needs and the Master's . I have seen many slaves that have low self-esteem and they think that is all they can be. This is not a healthy attitude. A real slave has pride in everything he does including serving another human being. That is a special person that can do that and he should take it for granted. A slave should take pride in themselves physically,emotionally and spiritually. A slave that takes care of himself and gives of himself one hundred and ten percent is a slave that Master's will want to collar and be proud of. The same goes for Master's. A Master that takes care of himself physically, emotionally and spiritually is going to have slaves that will give that hundred and ten percent and proud to wear his collar. Let's face it, no one wants a sloppy individual who doesn't take care of themselves. Fore if the don't take care of themselves, How are they going to take care of a slave?
As for me, I go to the gym everyday and keeping to a strict diet. I won't be so arrogant as to tell you that I have always taken care of myself. I have been guilty of letting myself go and am in the process of getting back into what I call "serving" weight and condition. It is a slow process but I have made quite a few gains and my Master knows that I am doing all that he has said for me to do regarding that. I can only hope that by the time I move in with him i will be back to the muscled shape that I was in a few years ago. My Master loves me and I love him and can't wait to be moved in and serving him. And with that I will let you go. As always if you have a topic you would like to see discussed on the blog I will do my best to research it and tell you my findings or if you just want to get in touch you can at raven15@consolidated.net. Have a great day everyone!

MasterCard....Please, Don't Leave Home Without It!

The question that constantly is asked is "Are you REAL?"This is a question that is asked of slaves all the time. For the most part I think that most people are wanting to submit but they don't know how. Also there is something to be said about a society that puts such a high price on macho ism. When it views people, especially men, as being weak and cowardly if they are submissive, then it is a climate that breeds deception. Mostly though the deception is to ourselves. The slave. I don't consider myself weak or with out courage just because I am submissive. I have the courage to counter this question with the same question to a Master. "Are you REAL?". Most will say yes but like the slave they aren't really sure what that means. Just buying a leather pair of pants or a vest or a leather arm band doesn't make you a Master. Any more than a twenty year old can be a Master without any experience. What makes a REAL Master? You see, being a Master is work and it is education. A Master has to have the knowledge to know when a slave has reached their limit. How intense they should go with their discipline. That begs the question " How does one gain that knowledge? I have taken a pool with allot of Doms and Masters in several different chat rooms and have they have come to the census that there are only two ways to do that. One is by starting off as a slave before being a Master. The knowledge of what you are putting a slave through because you have been through it yourself is invaluable. You can empathize and see what it is the slave is feeling and what is running through their mind. This concept isn't new. It was the system that has been refered to as the "Old Guard" system. From the Masters that I spoken with, it was a system by which you earned your leathers. Particularly you collar if you were a slave. it was a system by which you could move up the ladder to be a Master by starting at the bottom as a slave. This makes perfect sense to me and I have no doubt that any Master that once was a slave would be a better Master than one that wasn't. How can someone understand what you are going through if they haven't been through it themselves? A Master of this sort would be more apt to get inside a slaves head and make the relationship dynamic more and stronger. This is what I would call a REAL Master. According to the Masters (REAL ones) that I talked with, there is another way. That is by having a Master take one under their wing. For one to have a Mentor that will help guide them to being a real Master and know the intricacies that is takes to be real. A Master who will invite you into a play session and explain what they are doing and why. How to match the intensity of play with the slaves experience and training they have had thus far. I have to tell of someone that I know that met a Master and at some point he went to far. He slapped them on the side of the head on the ear hard enough that my friend said he was deaf in it for hours afterwards. That it rang for the rest of the evening. This is what I am talking about by education. it was later learned that the Master in question had never been taught by anyone nor had they ever been a slave. so in essence he wasn't really a Master! As a slave you have to be careful of running into someone that has bought the leather and put it on thinking it will automatically make them a Master. Of course, there are natural born Masters just as there are natural born slaves, but like the slave they are extremely rare. Some people will agree with me and some won't but that is what I think it takes to be a REAL Master. As I said some will disagree with me but the truth of the matter is, like a credit card, you have to qualify and have the education. Well I will leave you now and hope that everyone has a great leather experience. As usual, if you have any comments or questions or maybe another topic you would like to see discussed e-mail me at raven15@consolidated.net Bye and Have a great day!

Is It Live?.....Or Is It Memorex?

Well I said that I would try to keep posting and here I am with another post. This blog started out as a way of telling my journey to finding a Master, but it has turned into some of the things and issues facing the leather M/s, D/s, D/b community. That is fine with me as I am always interested in learning new things about the lifestyle I have chosen for myself. Technology is a wonderful thing and has made our lives easier. Sometimes to easy I think.With the advent of the internet people are now connected all over the world. You can have a video feed and see the person that you are talking to instantly. Just like being on the phone. I say that to bring me to a subject that I have seen in the various chatrooms that I frequent. It is the issue of c2c training of a slave. There is a consensus out there with the vast majority against it. I can see why. None of it would be real in the sense of training that would be necessary to have a slave of any substance. Training a slave involves behavioral modefication. This is accomplished by "aversion" techniques. Some times it is verbal and sometimes it is physical. Often it is the latter because it works so well. By physical I mean corpral punishment. I don't mean punishment for the sake of punishment but the kind of punishment that is made to teach. By using a cam to train a slave, a Master/Dom is essentially giving control to the slave. At anytime the slave can click the mouse and disappear. Then there is the issue of training intensity. A Master's expertise in knowing how far to take the pain to teach a slave is vital to the slave learning their place and how to serve their Master. If the slave is handing down the punishment then they are controling that intensity and will by, human nature, not give itself the intensity that is required for the behavioral modefication. That would be like asking a three year old how they should be punished when they misbehave. Some pain is necessary when doing the behavioral modefication. The knowledge of how to use that intensity is up to the Master/Dom not the slave. The only slave training that is of any worth is the kind that real time brings to the relationship. If you have one person on one end telling the other what to do and watching them, then you aren't in a Master/slave relationhip but a voyueristic one. Not to mention, the slave at the other end of the cam can decide not to do what he is told. There is that element of being bound and helpless that helps in the training. I mean lets get real. A MAster enjoys a slave bound and forced to do as he is told to a certain degree and inflicting their punishment upon them. The slave enjoys being bound and forced and punished in order to please his Master. That is where each gets their pleasure from. and isn't that what a Master/slave, Dom/sub relationship is all about. Coming together with another that is the oppisite of one another to fulfill the need that is in the very depths of their soul? The Master/slave relationship should be one that each sompliments the other.With that I'm going to leave you. As Always if you have a comment or you want to get in touch with me my address is raven15@consolidated.net. I welcome any suggestions for another entry. Later gator!

I Want To Be A ______......Oh Really?

It has been sometime since I have written in the blog and I want to apologize but I have been busy with school and all. I have been in a few chat rooms and have noticed something. No one wants to make a commitment it seems. I think that technology has allot to do with that. As humans we are very social creatures by nature, however, the Internet has been a way to limit that social interaction. With the simple click of a mouse we can connect or disconnect from a conversation with another person. While the Internet has allowed rural gays to connect with other gay men, it has also given rise to not investing anything in and of themselves into a relationship. There is a certain anonymity there that gives way to the idea that being dishonest is OK. What I mean is, with the Internet you can be who or Whatever you want to be. Even if it is a lie. It allows you to be whatever you want that you are not in your everyday life. The fantasy person that you think you would be if things were different in your life. WE, however, live in the real world and not a fantasy world. The problem then becomes what to do when someone wants to meet you in the real world and you can't live up to the fantasy one that you have created. This is very evident in the leather community at large. Some of that has changed with the introduction of the Video chat.That being said, leads me to say this. There are many "wannabes" in the BDSM world and the leather chat rooms are riddled with them. A M/s, D/s relationship takes allot of work like most things in life worth while. Part of that work is stepping up to the plate and being who you say you are and willing to do whatever it takes to achieve the goal you have set out for yourself. It takes a real commitment. With the video chat, it has given way to c2c "training". Which begs to question, How much REAL training can you get from a video chat? Little as far as I am concerned. Part of the slave's job is to know how to touch and respond to a Master's touch. That can never be accomplished through a video. However the advent of the c2c chat has allowed a visual aspect to someone that is still in the fantasy stage of development as a leather or BDSM person. It is basically an enhancement of their masturbatory material. Whether you are a Master/Dom looking for a slave/sub or a slave/sub looking for a Master/Dom. I can't tell you how many times I have heard both Masters and slaves complain that they can't find a real slave or Master. Sometimes it is the unrealistic expectations that they each have that is the problem. It kills me when I was looking for a Master, how many times they wanted me to drop everything and move after less than five minutes of chat-not video chat. Then when you tell them that you want to get to know them first, they say you aren't real. Like it is nothing to decide to be a slave. But by the same token, there a slaves with a skewed view of what it means to be a Master. I'm talking about the ones that are really looking for a sugar daddy and not a Master. They think they can just sit up in the house and do nothing while the Master takes care of them. THAT is ridiculous. There is real life that has to be lived. Unless the Master is a millionaire, I don't see that scenario happening in real life. When the M/s relationship is based on trust , and dare I say it, love-the love of being what you are- then it is a precious thing. well I have chatting long enough about this subject. As always if you have an idea for an entry or want to comment or want to get in touch with me you can at raven15@consolidated.net Thanks for reading and have a great day.