We Need a Bigger Sash

If life was like the Boy Scouts and gave out patches and badges, then we in the leather community need a bigger Sash to put them on. The last few entries about reality have caused a bit of a stir with the people that I chat with. I therefore, feel the need to expand some on that. The entry that caused a bit more comments was the one called Down The Rabbit Hole. It seems I struck a nerve when I said that a Master or slave could be present but not real. The going through the motions as it were. What I am talking about is that if you are really a Master or a slave you live it and not play at it. Yes there are some realities that have to be dealt with. Certain, concessions or compromises, that must be made to live in the real world. You can't go around in leather chaps and a jockstrap all the time. There is life to be lived, however, even when the leather is off a Master/slave knows who and what they are. It takes alot of courage for those in the gay leather community to be out and about. Well, any leather community really. It takes an inner strength to look deep inside one's self and thoroughly examine themself honestly and objectively. And by doing so, one comes into thier own as a person and a human being. To face yourself and say you are a BDSM Leather man and bravely go out in leather to socialize with other leather men. It is not for the faint of heart for sure.To realize that you are a natural Master or Natural slave and be ok with that is an amazing thing. It takes a certain level of healthy self-esteem and self love.That is why many in the leather community would get the Badge Of Courage for living the life of a Master/slave. That brings me to another badge. The Badge Of Honor. The reality is that if you have done all this work in finding yourself, you owe it to yourself to live an honorable life. To be honest and have integrety so that the next generation of Masters/slaves have someone to look up to and have as a role model. Someone that they can look at and know that the feelings and things that make up who and what they are, are valid. At many leather bars and events, they have contests where the prize is a sash across the chest saying"Leather Master'08" or "slaveboy'08" and we appluad their accomplishment. But how much better and note worthy would it be if the sash said Honest Leather Master or or Honorable slaveboy. Unfortunately, many times these winners are not regulars and get the title by looks alone. If you are involved in the leather community or the local leather bar and know someone that is truely living as a Master/slave go up to them and tell them they need a bigger sash. They may not know what you are referring to, but after you explain you will have a good friend in the end. I know that I have gone on long enough. as always, send your comments to me at reaven15@consolidated.net have a great year ending!

To Be Or Not To Be.....There's the Rub

Well it seems that my "Down the Rabbit Hole" entry has caused quite a stir among the Master/Doms and sub/slaves that I am in contact with. The subject was reality and all that that entailed. The fact that slaves were ignored after talking of meeting and Vice Versa. I forgot to mention the slaves that financially can't up and meet a Master across the state or country that becomes ignored. But that isn't why i am writing this entry for you today.
It seems that my Rabbit Hole entry cause some Master/SIRS and slave/subs to feel insulted, while others thought i have nailed it right on the head. This gave me pause to think and wonder why the difference. With my curiousity peeked, I had to ask around and see if I could find the answer. And, amazingly, i think I did. At least as far as i'm concerned I see the reason. As I said in the entry, reality is subjective and so has different meanings for different people. That being said, let me explain. It seems that alot fo Masters/slaves were insulted because they showed up at these meetings, and yet were ignored afterward. They couldn't understand why. Afterall, they showed up, and didn't that let the other party know they were real. With this new concern about reality i started looking into it. I have come to some shocking conclusions and misconceptions that i and many have. Just because you show up at these meetings for a session doesn't neccesarily mean you are real according to many of my sources. After hearing the explinations they gave I have to agree. ok, so you agree to meet and you show up. now you are in a session and your fantasy is being fulfilled. The problem lies with the fact that you are just going through the motions. The fantasy turned you on, but the reality makes you go through the motions to justify a means of meeting. That goes for both sides of the coin as far as I'm concerned. A Master that gets off simply because he is hearing what he wants to hear and is going through the motions to hear it isn't a real Master/Dom as far as i'm concerned. The same applies to a slave that says what a Master wants to hear and they want to hear them saying to a Master/Dom to get off, isn't any more real thatn if each were watching a Leather porno. It is the intensity and belief in what you are doing that makes you real or not. It isn't the fact that you showed up. When a Master goes through the domination motions and really isn't causing the sub to submit, then is he really a Master/Dom? And the slave/sub that says what a Master/Dom wants to hear but doesn't really mean it or believe realy a slave/sub? I DON"T think so. A real Master knows when he is really dominating and making a slave submit. They are the ones that are truly natural born Masters/Doms and are real. The same goes for slaves/subs. The ones that are really made to submit and love it and mean what they tell a Master/Dom are real and not motioners as i call them. It reminds me of the old joke where the woman says in monotone....."".stop stop your killing me you are so big"....the sarcastic refference can apply here. A Master that doesn't really amke a sub submit wethere they like it or not isn't any more reall that a slave that isn't made to submit to something they don't agree with is a slave. i guess what I'm trying to say is that the ppl that are living a fantasy will say and do what ever it takes to get off. The Real Masters and slaves will need and want the extreme of a play session and live it daily as a part of their life.
well as usual if you have any comments you can send them to raven15@consolidated.net and if yu are a real Master you can reach me at the same address if you want a real slave.

Hello, Howdy, Greetings, Salutations and the southern " How Do?"

It has come to my attention that there seems to be a bit of confusion about how to meet a Master or slave. I have heard from both on the subject and have made a few observations in the leather chat room I frequent. Other than the traditional way in a leather bar or by joining a local leather club, there is the chat room. I don't know if it is the anonimity of it all or that we have digressed in our social skills, but the level of rudeness and attitudes that prevail are getting out of control. What has always meant politeness is now suddenly a form of leachery. The simple act of saying hello has suddenly become a leacherous hit on the object of the salutation. In other words, it is assumed that if someone says hello to you, they automatically are trying to get into your pants. Of course we know what happens when one assumes. Given the venue and place, the connotation is unwarranted. I mean think about it. You are in a Chat room. You are supposed to be there to chat. How can you do that if you don't say hello or introduce yourself? I have noticed to my disappointment, that it is usually the young men that take offense. It appears that when in a chat room, according to the way they react, you are there to say hi and then immediately set up a fuck date. So suddenly, when someone says hello they think that the next words will be cyber or setting a playdate. If an olderman says hello to a younger one, the connotation is implied that the only reason they are saying hello is to get them in bed. This is a sad state of affairs from a societal standpoint. Many people on the net are isolated in the country or can't be open about themselves. So, it is only natural that the chat rooms are a way to meet people. But to meet you have to say hello! REcently a Master, as was his nature, was saying hello to people as they came in to the room wether he knew them or not. Just being polite. After several days of saying hello to an individual that never reponded, he got the shock of his life. The individual suddenly went off on him and gave him the third degree. The problem is that when someone says hello to you , it is common courtesy to say hello back, not ignore the person wether you like them or not. It is called being civilized and is supposed to seperate us from the animals. The lack of asknowledgement when a person, let alone a Master, says hello to a person is astounding. Usually they are silent in the room and then wonder why no one talks to them and they are having a hard time finding that Master or slave. It is a two way street here. Younger men saying hello to older men, other than being a rarity, doesn't mean they are out for the older man's money by using sex to get it. That seems that is the way that some Masters have interpreted a younger man saying hello. The cynicism has to stop. How is a slave that is using the chat room as a venue to meet the Master of his dreams, has the attitude they have when one says hello to them. They ignore them or go off on them. I am not talking about being stalked in the room here, just someone noticing the same person in the room and wanting to say hello. Masters are guilty of the same thing as well. A slave says hello to show respect and the Master ignores them and doesn't acknowledge them. The sad part is that these are the same Masters and slaves that complain they can't meet the right Master or slave. How could they? They are to busy fronting an attitude as if they are better than anyone. All I have to say about that is........LOOK in the mirror SIR/boy.....you are in a chat room not the Ritz Carlton. You are no more grander than anyone else! Be polite and acknowledge when someone says hello to you and you might not be going to the chat room at all because you will be to busy with someone you have met to be there!
As usual if you have any comment or are a Master looking for a slave you can reach me at raven15@consolidated.net

Down the Rabbit Hole!

After talking with Masters and other slaves, I felt compelled to write this entry. It seems that there is alot of concern over the fact that people aren't real. I have touched on this subject before but think I need to go into some detail with this entry. It seems that there are alot of complaints on both sides of the fence about this. Masters/Doms saying that the slaves/boys they talk to aren't real. The slaves/boys claim that the Masters/Doms they talk to aren't real as well. There seems to be a vast difference in opinion of the definition of what is real. Masters claim that the slaves/boys they chat with in the chat rooms just want to cyber or they don't want to meet. They seem to disappear after a Master/Dom mentions coming for a visit. Suddenly, Masters claim that they are suddenly ignored. Slaves claim that they are ignored by Masters when they mention meeting as well. I have seen this happen and agree that there is a significant problem of reality in the leather community. But lets face some facts, anytime you are chatting for the first time and the Dom or Sub says they will be right over or that they want you to come the next day, then they are not living in reality. Getting into a Master/slave relationship is not something that you enter into lightly, as I have said before. There are questions that have to be asked and answered from both parties. Sometimes you can tell the ones that are real and living in reality by the answers that they give. Slaves need to ask what happens if they need a doctor. This becomes really important if the slave is to be 24/7 and not work outside the home.. Who is going to pay for it and take them? What does the slave do if something should happen to the Master. Masters need to know if a slave will still take care of them if they become disabled or get sick with a long recovery. Slaves need to know the same thing and about what will happen should the Master die. What happens to property and assets? Will the slave then be thrown out on the streets with nothing to start over with? Some slave inherit property from family and a Master may want to know what happens to that should the slave die. There are just a few of the questions that need to be asked and answered. From the answers, many times you can tell if the person is real. A REAL Master/dom will have answers that are caring, logical, and given allot of thought. The same can be said of a slave as well. It is in chatting for a few weeks and through telephone calls, can you tell if each party has thought long and hard about this lifechanging decission. It amazes me when a Master wants you to come right over and asks or demands that you do in the first chat you have with them. They are more interested in a fantasy then what is entailed in living the life of a Master/slave. After all is said and done however, reality is Relevant. Depending on your situation, depends on the definition of what is real. It is through thorough communication that each will have an understanding of what is reality for the other person. Then based on that, the decission to meet can be established. Otherwise just as Alice did, you are going through a rabbit hole into wonderland. And everyone knows that Wonderland isn't real or only exists for a fleeting moment in time. Our lives, however, are not fleeting and so it takes time to make the decission to get into a Master/slave relationship. It also takes time to find the right Master/slave match. A bunch of bed hopping isn't the answer. So everyone should take time when looking for the match of a lifetime. That is the real reality of it all.
As usual if you have any comments or are a Master looking for a slave you can contact me at reaven15@consolidated.net

If We Were Only like Dorian Grey

The story goes that Dorian Grey made a deal with the devil. His portrait would age rather than he but he was to never look upon it or he would die. That was the way that he stayed youthful and handsome for well over a hundred years. To bad we can't be like that in real life. Age has got to be one of the most irritating things to have to deal with.And the M/s community is not immune to it. What i am talking about is something that I have mentioned before. Older Dom/Masters that only look at a twink for a sub/slave. I have talked with several Masters and they all don't look at a boy unless he is under 30. This is a source of concern for those of us slaves that are older. I was in a chat room the other day and a sub mentioned that if you don't get owned in your forties you might as well give up. That you don't have a chance. Well i have news for him, Masters/Dom's don't even look at sub/slaves in their forties. and barely once they turn thirty. It amazes me when i hear a Dom/Master complain that they don't have anything in common with their boy. What do you expect when there is 30-40yrs difference in ages! I love Masters in their forties and fifties. Many older slaves do as well. What is wrong with a Dom/sub relationship when they are around the same age? Is it so wrong to have a Master/Dom that is a year or so older than the sub/slave? They say that the leather M/s relationship doesn't last very long. Perhaps it is because of this rampant age difference that pervades the community. Finding a Dom/Master that is around your own age would seem to be a better match than the bigger age differences. You can, after all, relate to each other outside of the bedroom and be able to build a life together. It would also seem that if we start looking for those around our age then the game playing would be held down to a minimum. There would be less fear involved as i mentioned in my last blog. A Master/Dom would know that the sub/slave was with him because of who he is and not what he has materialistically. That the sub is there because he wants to be serving him. He doesn't have to worry about the slave being there and looking for another Dom/Master while he is serving him. Sub/slaves would not be after a Dom/Master's money or things. Then the true Dom/sub, Master/slave relationship can happen. The needs of each party are met without anything getting in the way. Perhaps then there would be more love between Doms/subs and Masters/slaves. That being said, it would allow for longer relationships to develope and last. I, myself, am looking for a lifetime commitment. i don't care about how much money he has or doen't have, but that he is the dom/Master that i need in my life as a natural slave. Then there will be a sense of peace that is felt by a sub/slave when he has the Master that he was meant to have and owned. well that is all I have for now i will try to post more often in the future. As always, If you have any thoughts or comments send them to me at raven15@consolidated.net or if you are a Master that would be interested in having me as yours.

Lions, and Tigers and Bears! Oh My!

It has been awhile since i last added an entry. I wish that I could say it was because I had found my Master but I can't. It has just been simply a matter of life getting in the way. I have still done alot of talking with Masters/Doms and slave/subs about the things going on in the community and the complaints and issues logged in by each. There seems quite abit of concern over something that is prevelant in the M/s and D/s community. It is the overwhelming sense of fear associated with such a relationship. It permeates the very core of any human being and on different levels making it a complicated issue that needs to be addressed.
One of the biggest cases of fear that has to be overcome is the self-imposed fear. This is the fear that is experienced by both straight and gay people everywhere. It is the fear everyone goes through when coming into your own. The cutting of the apron strings and the safety zone that family dependence provides. One of the biggest anxieties of the human condition evolves around the issue of change. It is feared and many times the fear is worse than the actual change. There is a certain amount of comfort in knowing that should you fail or fall your family will be there to help. Unfortunately that isn't always the case within the gay community much less the M/s or D/s community. When we go through our teens into adulthood, we already have the fear of rejection from our peers. Compound that with the knowledge that you are gay and that isn't something that is accepted very well in society and the fear is felt a thousand fold. Then the thought of coming out to your parents becomes unthinkable. I think this when the art of game playing and deciet in training comes in by the gay community. What I mean by that, is the fact that many of us start out our "adult" life living two of them. The one we show our family and friends for fear of rejection and the one that we are compelled to live because of the way we were made. I think practice of living a double life makes the game playing by both the Doms and subs become an intergral part of the sense of what it is suppossed to be, to be gay. As a result there is alot of game playing on both sides of the fence. This fear of rejection is very deep within us and something we need to work on as a community. Both the gay community and the Dom/sub community. It is this fear that makes it so hard on us to be accepting of the fact that we are gay to begin with. One reason I think is the lack of good examples of what it means to be gay and to go one step further, a gay BDSM person.
The insanity fear. Once we get past the fear of and acceptence of the fact that one is gay comes the fear about if you are mentally or emotionally unstable because of the need to be in a BDSM or Dom/sub relationship. For centuries, Society at large has said that being gay means that you are crazy or insane and sick. Then they add that you are especially sick and not mentally stable if you are in a leather relationship. Let's face it, unfortunately, whenever the gay comminity has been depicted in the media, it is always the leather community that gets the focus. Trying to re-enforce the belief that they are the ultimate gay sick individuals.
The fear is that you have to take responsibility for being a Dom or sub. For the sub, the fear is very real about being hurt in the leather relationship that they crave. Not only physically hurt, but emotionally as well. It is also the fear that the family will find out and disown us. The fear, unfortunately, is substantiated by the past actions experienced or known to exist in the past. The sub fears about how much control will be taken as oppossed to how much is given. There is also a real fear on the side of the sub to be responsible for anothers happiness as well as their own. The pleasure a sub gets from serving can be a daunting task because he must also give pleasure and happiness to another human being. Making sure that you give impecable service to a Master/Dom can be of great concern to a true sub. It is a responsibility that shouldn't be taken lightly. It is also a fear that there will be no emotions exchanged between a Dom/sub, especially in the leather BDSM community. Many times the sub is afraid that if they show emotions to the Dom, it will percieved as being needy, and not in a good way. They fear they will be put out on the street after making the sacrifice of moving accross country to be with a Man and serve him. The fear of totally submitting everything, Body, mind, and soul and for some financially can be a scary thought to a sub.
For the dom there is the real fear about taking care of a sub and all that it means. From what I have heard from some Masters, they are afraid to invest anytime or emotion into a sub/slave for fear they will move on after a short period. These are valid fears on both sides of a dom/sub relationship. Many Masters are afraid to show that they care and love their sub for fear they will percieve it as weakness and they will lose control. That they won't be percieved as "manly or dominate" enough and the sub will look else where. Another fear that I have heard about is the fear that the sub is only there for material gain and nothing else. Once again it is the game playing we become accustomed to when we are first comiong to terms with ourselves and being gay as i mentioned earlier.
What is a Dom or sub to do? For one thing, we need to learn to trust ourselves to be the person that we are and accept that. For a sub, that means that serving doesn't make you less of a man but more of one. Why? Because it shows the inner strength and high character it takes to be a sub. That you are a secure individual in who you are. This should serve as an example to other subs. It also means welcoming new young subs and look at them as charges and help guide them. Not look at them as potential Master stealers and give into insecurity about yourself. WE subs should let the new ones feel welcomed and give them a sense of belonging to a community that is sane and not the sick one that they have been taught to fear. Subs/slaves should also look out for each other as well and help make sure we are all safe. For the Masters and Doms it means not holding back in setting up what you want and expect in the relationship and exchange of power. It also means regulating if you will other Masters and rescue other slaves from serious harm. The was a time, they call it Old Gaurd, when the focus on the community was self regulation and enjoyment of the whole experience of the dom/sub relationship in the leather community. More Masters need to show maturity and realistic ways of viewing the Master/sub relationship and as such living it.Just as with subs, Masters should welcome and help mentor new Masters to the community. This shows to each other the pride and character that is necessary to be a good Master. The leather community can only improve if we take pride and responsibility for ourselves and what we are. The integrety of the leather community will be great improved if we all do these simple things and overcome our fears of the unknown.
Well that being said i will leave you. I know that I have rambled abit but it is only because i care about this community and what it means. as always, feel free to e-mail me at raven15@consolidated.net if you have any comment or are a Master that wants to chat

Commitment, Honor, Respect, and Approval

Well I have had some good conversations recently with several Masters/Doms and Slaves/Subs regarding the Aspects of the title for this entry. It seems that on both sides they are finding those four elements-commitment, honor, respect, and approval-lacking in the formation of their relationships. In a way they are all interrelated. I hope to be able to shed some light on them in this entry. Remember though, this is from my own prospective and opinion. It is a matter of steps and growth of the individual, whether a Master/Dom or slave/sub. Each person has to have an inner peace about what and who they are in order to grow as a Master/Dom or slave/sub. Part of that inner peace about one's self, depends greatly on if they feel approval about themself.

The Approval I am talking about is needed on several different levels and aspects in order for the Master/Dom or slave/sub to exist.The biggest obstacle is one of very existence. The approval that it is ok to be gay! Sometimes that approval to be gay can or has to come from an outside source, for example parents, family or friends. Also from the Society at large. Once that level of approval has been met, then one can go onto being what they are: a Master/Dom or slave/sub. However, the most important level of approval to being gay has to do with SELF approval. Once one has accepted and approved of being gay, they can go on and grow as a human being. Without this approval, all the other aspects-commitment,honor, and respect cannot be achieved in any relationship, let alone a Master/slave, Dom/sub one. If one achieves thier inner approval, then they can go on and successfully become a Master/Dom or slave/sub. The next step to win approval, is to approve of being a Master/Dom or Subslave and the lifestyle that it warrants by being one. Of course, in an Utopian society, a Master or slave could be open with thier family and friends about who and what they are. Unfortunately, that isn't the kind we live in and there in lies a major conflict of one's self. It is that conflict that can block a Master/Dom ro slave/sub from reaching a sane, sensual, and satifying relationship. One that will provide the inner peace that makes us be the best human being that we can be.

If all thses levels of approval are met, then one can achieve commitment. There is a saying in the leather community that you have to "Break" or"Break in" a slave before they can be free to serve. I don't necessarily think that is true. I think that, in that case, you aren't so much as breaking in a slave as much as you are forcing him to accept himself and what he is. It goes to self responsibility. If one likes or yearns to be a slave, but thinks that to be one or to be gay means you are mentalll ill, then this is a way out for them. It is the idea that " I wouldn't be a slave or gay if I wasn't forced to be that way or be a slave." It basically becomes a cop out. I think this is why so many Masters/Doms or slaves/subs can't make a true commitment. They haven't achieved inner approval or self acceptence that they are gay. or that they are really a natural born slave. They think about it, fantasize about it, and want to experience it, but deep down they can't accept or approve of it. So they then can't commit to it or the lifestyle it warrants. Once approval has been met and commitment has been met, then the honor and respect will come naturally. This is because a slave/sub or Dom/Master will then realize that there is allot of work at being either of those things. They will have an understanding of what an honor it is to find, out of the whole world, the right Master/Dom or the right slave/sub to have in their life. They will understand the self-respect it takes to be a Master/Dom or slave/sub. I could go on and on about this but will leave it at that for now. As always if you have any questions or comments or are a Master that is interested in me, you can contact me at Raven15@consolidated.net Have a great day!

Say It Aint So!!!!

Well men, in talking with some of the Masters and SIRS it seems the age thing is in full effect. Many Masters and Sirs are feeling the age discrimination as well as the slaves when it comes to finding what we want and need as natural born Master/slaves and Dom/subs. I personally don't know why that would be a problem for a Dom/Sir, as i have always found men in their 40's - 60's the sexiest. There is something about the level of masculinity and sexual energy that exudes from the men in this age group. I have never found a young man, not matter how muscled, to be as sexy in leather as an older man is. Of course, I am a 110% bottom so that should not be a surprise. I think the problem is the same for our elder Masters that it is for the elder slaves, we aren't the young "Colt porno models" that seem to be the ideal that many aspire to have. I find that a bit dumb because- A. you are limiting yourself to a very narrow few. and B. because being that model has nothing to do with sexiness as far as I'm concerned. I have seem some gorgeous men that were hot and looked good, but the minute they opened their mouth it was all over. The arrogance and self absorbed that many are involved in when they have the "Colt Model" look makes them unattractive on all levels in my opinion. I have also seen some control freaks(man beaters) that looked good but are still unsexy when you realize this about them. Don't get me wrong. I am not talking about the kind that can go on in a good session with a Dom/Master. I'm talking about the kind that isolates you from society and controls so much about you that you are nothing but a mindless automaton. How would you be able to act on what your Dom/Master wants if you are so controlled that you can't anticipate what he wants or needs from you to be who he is? I am talking about the Dom/Master that is all about malice and evil when he is in a session or living his life. The ones that get into an argument with you over nothing and use it as an excuse to beat you and not in the good way. These are the kind of people that you read about in the papers that meet someone on the Internet and then kill them and nobody knows about it until months or years later. I am talking about the serial killers and the ones that are very close to it! I am talking about the kind of man that outside the bedroom you can't talk to them or anything. These are the kind i don't necessarily find sexy or attractive. However, many times these are the type that have been prevalent in the "Colt Model" looking Dom/Masters that i have met.
I personally have always liked men form 35/40 - 59/60 ish to be the sexiest men that I could be with. The 65yo that looks and acts younger is just as appealing to me as the 40yo :Colt Model" that you see in the leather bars standing around and posing. I have often wondered where this proverbial camera is that is out there taking their pictures when I see those types in the bar. An older Master/Dom has the experience and talent that a younger man doesn't have in training aspect and giving what a slave needs to be himself. They have been there and done that and know what will happen with the training methods they use and what woks best. They are usually more stable and grounded in what the leather community is and about. They know that it isn't a 24/7 porno movie. And when you are out of the Dom/sub mode you can talk to them and relate to them. Thus, increasing the bond between you and making you feel proud to be their property or boy. If you want to be a spiritless, unfeeling thing, then by all means find that total jerk "colt Model" master if you want. If it doesn't matter how you are treated, then it is a sad day for you as far as I'm concerned. I want a Master/SIR that i can work out with and do things with and have a good time with. I don't want one that will only be interested in me when he is ready to get off. If that were the case he would be better off investing in a good leather porno collection. I want a Master/SIR that i can go to when I have a concern, or something is happening where i work or in my family. These types of Masters are very hard to find and they are usually the older ones that exude that masculinity and sexual energy i was talking about earlier. The kind of Master/Dom you can look at and know that you will be safe and he is concerned about you emotionally as well as physically. Like i said I would think that since that is usually the kind you find in men in their 40's- their 60's ish, then there would not be as much dicrimination toward Masters/Dom's as there would be from Master/Doms. to the slave/subs. But from all indications it seems to be about the same. Well I have gone on long enough about this for NOW. Maybe in another entry. That being said, as usual, if you have any comment or are a Master that is interested in me, contact me at raven15@consolidated.net. Bye for now!

Oh The Vanity of it All!

I know that I have talked about this before but thought it needed to be mentioned again. Our society has become youth driven and looks orientated to the destruction of love and happiness in the world. I will explain what I mean. It seems that no matter the chat room, whether it is leather or not, the same thing prevails. Everyone is looking for a Colt model to be with and sometimes forget to look at themselves. Every Dom/Master that I have talked with is looking for a younger twink sub/slave. The problem with that, is that outside of the play time, there is a great clash of culture awareness. It doesn't matter if you are a slave or a Master the difference in cultural relativity will be apparent outside of the playroom/bedroom. The difference in relativiy of cultural figures and the significance of them is lost. As well as the importance of certain world events. The interest gap can be enormous. This can lead to little to talk outside of the bedroom. Making the relationship doomed from the start. If the Dom/Master is in a teaching and mentoring role that is great. However, it will depend on the sub/slave being receptive to that mentoring if it will work or not. Many Doms and subs are missing out by making an age difference as a criteria to whether or not to serve or be served by someone. From the many twink subs i have talked to, the reason for the age difference they require is about establishment. They want someone that is established and has material things already that they would like to have and use. Basicaly, most are looking for a Sugar Daddy/Master. They feel they are entitled to have what ever the Dom has and will use the Dom. This isn't the basis to have a relationship with anyone. We as human beiongs need love and emotional connection with the person that we are with. That is why a Natural born slave, such as myself, or a natural born Dom/Master will have a need to serve or be served and love the other person for being what they are. Many Masters/Doms wonder why they can't find a slave that will serve them for a long period, when what they are seeking is right there under their noses but is 35+ instead of 18+. The same can be said for slaves/subs. They will wonder why they can't find a Master/Dom to serve for a longterm when they don't look at the younger Master/Doms becuase they don't have allot of material things. In addition, they wonder why, when they run into Masters/Doms that want them to work and help with the financial end of a relationship. They feel they are entittled to be taken care of just for existing. I find this to be unrealistic and quite honestly a very bad lack of character. That brings me to my next wonder.
It amazes me the amount of people that are overweight and out of shape that are looking for the colt model and nothing else will do. They then wonder why they never can find anyone interested in them. i admit that I let myself go for awhile, but iam woprking out now and doing everything I can to be a sub/slave that a Master would be pround to have. I have and am losing weight and getting back into the gym shape I was in a few years ago.I do it for myself as well as to be more attractive. Usually a man that worksout, eats right, exercises and takes care of himself, wants someone that does the same. I find that when a man takes care of himself he is hot no matter what the age. I have seen some very hot and sexy 60yo Masters/Doms that I would have no ploblem serving. Yet, there are doms and subs that don't take care of themselves and think that a muscular man should be interested in them. Don't get me wrong. We all have our types that turn us on. I am not discounting the men out there that find big men sexy(chubby chasers). I think that is great if that is what turns you on. The Bears and muscled men I have talked with, whether they are doms/Masters or slaves/subs seem to want someone that is the same as they for a partner. It is amazing to me the amount of Dom/sub relationships that don't occur when both parties are in the same shape(alittle out of shape) and would match up in desires and wants from each other, but don't get together. Why? Because of vanity. They are either close in age or they are looking for the colt model that is rare in any instance. I myself would like to find a man that is in shape or working on it( not a Colt model, but would take one if he came along) and that we can workout together. Building a bond as well as a relationship while doing that and being on the journey to better health together.
Well enough with the soapbox. If you have any questions or comments feel free to send me a message. If you are a Master that is intersted in meeting, read the blog from the beginning to present to know more about me. Then contact me at Raven15@consolidated.net

Personal Entry

Well as i said in my last entry, the B.O.R. caused allot of conversation with the group of people I have contact with. I had one Master say that it didn't apply to a Master/slave relationship because it said Boy B.O.R. and not slave. He felt it was OK for a Sir/boy relationship. I have to disagree. It still puts the sub in total control and that isn't what a Dom/sub relationship is about. Well enough said about the B.O.R. We could debate it until the world ends.

Well it seems interesting to me, the Masters(though few) that have contacted me. They claim to have read the blog, yet they think i am supposed to make a life changing decision after 2 or 3 chats online. That tells me that they haven't read all of the entries. That is something that i encourage any Master/SIR to do . By reading all of them you have a sense of who I am and what I am about. I am a very caring and real person. When i make a commitment I do it 110%. I give it my all. I am very nostalgic as well and sentimental about things. I want a Master that is all man and not fem. I have to say that I find masc. men the most interesting. I like them to be around my age or older. I want a Master that is a natural Master and one that knows that is what he is. I am a natural born slave so I want the same in my Master. The also have to be based in reality and not think of it as a 24/7 porn flick. There is more than sex involved in the Master/slave relationship and a Master should understand that. I have been saving myself for the Master that will be my Master for a lifetime. I am not out having casual sex while I am on my search. I haven't been with a Man in several years so i am very much like a virgin in that aspect and am holding the next time I am with one to be with the Master that will own me forever. I know that the Master/slave relationship is special and I want the Master to know that he will be very special to me. Well with that being said, I leave you now and if you want to contact me for comments or if you are a Master and interested you can contact me at raven15@consolidate.net Have a great day!

Reflections: The last entry

Well it seems that my last entry caused quite a stir within the group that i talk to. There was allot of comments about the "Bill Of Rights" that has been circulating on the net. The one thing that all of the Masters and some slaves i have talked to, say, is that the B.O.R. is malarky. I agree. The way it is written the Master doesn't have control the slave does.That makes the slave the Dom and the Master the sub which is a great misnomer in and amoung itself. The whole point of being a slave is because you are naturally made to submit to another and give over that control. The B.O.R. doesn't do that. The slave basically doesn't submit to anyone. But the Master submits to the wishes of the slave and is limited in his role as Master. So much so, that the whole Dom/sub Master/slave relationship doesn't exist as it was designed to. If one was to go by this boy Bill Of Rights there is no exchange of obiedience, love, or need for domination and need for being dominated that makes a Master a Master and a slave a slave. The relationship becomes Moot. i know there are some Masters that want a top slave and are a bottom Master, but that doesn't mean the right of control is reversed. That just means the dynamic is different, but the Master is still in control. It is that control that makes him a Master. It seems almost that the B.O.R. was written by a Master that wanted to be a sub but not take the responsibility that is involved with being one. Or perhaps, it was written by someone not ready to accept his role and what he truly was which is a slave. The thought fo submission was there but the acceptence of what that meant was not there. Of course there wouldn't even be a need for a B.O.R. if every one was sticking to the Old Gaurd ways.
The Old Gaurd was were about character, honor, responsibility, Love and values. From the O.G. Masters i have talked with, the O.G. was a way of self governing with in the leather community. A slave didn'thave to worry about being abused because if a Master crossed that line, the other Masters would talk with him about it. If that didn't work then they would take action to rescue the slave and punish the offending Master so that he better understood his responsibilityand what it meant to be a Master. There was more of a collective pride in being a Master or slave. If either one did something disgraceful, it was a reflection on entire community, not just the individual. A Master that dishonored another Master or slave dishonored and disgraced all the Masters in the community. He disgraced and disrespected the institution of what it meant to be a Master. The same goes for a slave. They disrspect the institution of what it means to be a slave. The are no set rules for the O.G ways. They aren't written down. But it comes down to having values about yourself respect, your character, and honor to the leather community. Some might say it is about what it meant to be a man in the 50's or 60's. His name was something that you kept in the honorable position of respect from others. And the value of that respect was utmost important. If you valued that then you valued your reflection on being a slave or a Master. Well that being said, if any Masters or slaves have anything to add about the Old Gaurd ways , please feel free to contact me at raven15@consolidated.net or if you are a Master interested in talking you can contact me there as well. i appreciate all comments about the blog. Have a great Day

The Bill Of Rights for both Master and Slave?

It has come to my attention that there is a Boy Bill Of Rights circulating that has been the cause of great debate and discussion. I have heard from several Masters about their concerns and problems with this B.O.R. and what it means.
I will attempt to show the flaws in it and let the readers know that it takes a lot of thought before becoming a Master or slave. I will list the Bill Of Rights as i have been shown and then go through them one by one and give my thoughts on them. I will then hope to construct a Bill Of Rights that would be in agreement with Masters and slaves. In addition I will try to also come up with a Bill Of Rights for a Master. After all a Master has the right to certain expectations as much as a slave. The purpose of a Bill Of Rights for both the Master and slave is to protect each from maleficence and use and abuse. There are many unscrupulous slaves and Masters out there and one should be aware of that.
Here is the Boy Bill Of rights as i have found them to be.

Boy Bill Of Rights

1.Every boy has the right to have his body, intellect, and emotions protected by his Dom.

2. The boy has the right to choose who he serves and stop serving without being subjected to physical, mental, or emotional abuse.

3.Every Boy has a right to be cared for, disciplined appropriately, and allowed to feel pride in his submission.

4. Every boy has the right to protected sex.

5. Every Boy has the right to privacy

6.Every boy has the right to defend himself from physical, emotional and sexual abuse.

7. Every boy has the right to consent or not consent to sexual activities.

8. Every boy has the right to seek refuge, counsel, and advice from other Dom/subs without expectation of sex, Money, or other services in return.

9. Every boy has the right to a physical and emotional set of friends.

10. Every boy has the right to protect his own possessions and finances against intercession, theft, and non-consensual acquisition.

As you can see, this B.O.R. is worded vaguely and with allot of room for interpretation. This makes it an unrealistic set of rights. There is also no Master Bill Of Rights that I am aware of.

Now lets look at these rights individually.

Right 1 is good but doesn't go into it in detail as it should. The boy has that right of protection for submission and obedience to the Master. It isn' automatically given but is earned. It also isn't something that is in place until a Master and slave have entered into the verbal agreement or contract that establishes the basis for the relationship. It is a starting point that changes as the love and bond between the two grows.

Right 2 is true but only to a certain extent. A slave can't just up and leave with fulfilling his verbal or contractual obligation. This goes to the character, honor, and respectability of the slave as such. If a slave promises to serve for a year verbally or in a contract, then he is obligated to honor that contract. If he terminates the service early, he should have to figure his average monthly expense to the Master and pay off the remainder of his agreement. This is not to indicate that the Master is money hungry, but rather that it recognizes the Master has put in time, money, emotions, expense, and effort into training and making the slave what he is. It should be an honor to pay off the agreement because it shows that the slave is an respected and honorable Man and should be given that respect.

Right 3 is not in depth enough to stand as it is. The sub has those rights, but only for the cost of his love, devotion, submission, and obedience to the Dom. I personally would want a Dom that would let me to continue to work out so that he would be proud of me physically as well as for the service given. The only way that it can happen is for this exchange to take place. A sub/slave should know that part of that right is based on being able to contribute to his upkeep and expense. Only in a 24/7 situation where the Master/Dom is financially able to have a slave that doesn't work would it only constitute the obedience, devotion, love, and submission to the Dom. Then there is more responsibility on the part of the Dom. A slave can never be a mooch!

Right 4 is something that should be discussed prior to entering in the relationship. Protected sex can mean different things in different situation. If a Dom and sub are both neg. for STDsthen having bare back sex should be discussed. When it comes to the Dom sharing is slave property then there is a whole different set of indications. To some, that means the Dom would require the borrowing Dom to use condoms and make sure they were used on anyone engaging in sex with the property. Unless a Master/dom has recent testing and documentation of the other Dom and anyone who uses his property, then it should be noted that a boy has the right not to be infected with any STD. Especially one that can kill him. and the boy should have the right to go after the borrowing Dom civilly if the legal action is appropriate. In some states not telling a person of their HIV status or lying about it is a criminal and civil offense.

Right 5 is uncondusiveto developing the trust and bond necessary for a Dom/sub relationship to work. I think a boy has a right toprivacy when cleaning himself or taking care of daily needs that are a part of life. However this right doesn't allow for a relationship of trust to develop. maybe in the future a slave will be given more privacy by his Dom but that is up to the Dom to decide. in this day and age of computer technology, I wouldn't object to a Master/Dom having a program installed on the computer the slave uses to track where and what he is doing on the computer. After all, it goes to the safety of both the Dom and the sub. think about it. If a sub goes off to meet another Dom and his Dom doesn't know about it and the slave is killed or disfigured, things can get ugly for the Dom that everyone knows the sub is with. That of course depends on how the Dom/sub relationship is perceived by the real world. The Dom can't protect himself from STDs or any other problem that may arise with out knowing everything about his slave and property and what they are doing.

Right 6 is pretty much self explanatory but needs to define it further. In a Dom/sub relationship there is going to be pain and punishment and discipline. That kind of "abuse" should be expected by any sub that enters into a Dom/sub relationship. It is a part of training to be the slave that the sub wants to be and achieve. But the boy should also have the right not to be disfigured, permanently damaged or scared. This is a right, I think to protect against situations like being cut so deep that muscles or tendons are severed and the loss of use of a limb is involved. Or perhaps, but fire to a slave and disfiguring him. I am talking about malice involved in the act of using a sub. I personally would not object to being tattooed to show ownership and if a slave agrees to it, branding.

Right 7 is a bit tricky. I mean a sub should know that he is expected to have sexual relations with his Dom. It is those sexual relationships that help build a bond and cement the relationship and trust. I do think however, that when a slave is shared it should be discussed prior to the event. It goes to the protection of both the slave and the Dom. It is also something that should be discussed before entering into the relations to begin with. I personally feel that I don't have the right to dictate to a Dom whether or not I have sex with him. It should be there for the taking or pleasure of the Dom. After all, denying sex to a Dom is denying your purpose in being a slave as far as I'm concerned.

Right 8 pretty much means that a sub has the right to get advice from anyone. The refuge part would be when an OG Master sees a sub being abused-go back to the definition- and will harbor a slave an protect him while they get their self together to move on in life. Let's face it there are quite a few" Masters/Doms" that only want to hurt someone for the sake of hurting and not for what a Dom/sub relationship is supposed to be about. It is then that a slave should be able to protect themselves by asking another Dom for refuge if the other Dom sees that it would be appropriate and is given to the slave/sub.

Right 9 is vague at the very least and requires some clarification. If you mean the physical right to be in contact with fellow slaves, Doms, and family, then yes that is a right of a boy. He should never become so isolated-after training- that he can't call family or friends just to talk or find out what is going on. That is provided the sub is still in contact with his family and hasn't chosen to close all ties with them. But a boy does not have the right to have sex with anyone he chooses, whenever he wants or have f**kbuddies outside the relationship. If a slave is part of a multi sub household then sexual contact will be dictated by the Dom.

Right 10 is more about financial protection than anything else i believe. I see nothing wrong with a Dom having control over a subs finances. It is the way that control is administered should be discussed before the relationship begins. There are as i said unscrupulous Doms-as as slaves-out there that will try to steal from a slave or Dom. I can see where there might be accounts with both the slave and Doms name on the account. just make sure that they are set up with the slave and/or Dom signature on it. That way should anything happen to either on , the surviving member has access to the money to take care of expenses and such. If the only use of "and" and not "and/or" then the money can be tied up for months or years until the estate is settled. This is the situation where I can see some protection is needed for both parties involved. If it is a 24/7 situation where the sub doesn't work or contribute to his social security or retirement fund then arrangements must be made for the event of death etc.... so that the sub can take care of the Dom if he is disabled or funeral or be able to move on with his life should the unlikely happen. This is the only reason I can see for this right to exist and given.

I have intentionally stated "as Given" or "Given to" in the discussion for a reason. Basically there are two things that can be said about a slave/boys "Rights". A boy ONLY HAS THE RIGHTS/Responsibility that are GIVEN to him by his Dom and that are thoroughly discussed and agreed upon in all areas-physically, emotionally, and financially- BEFORE EVER ENTERING into the relationship to begin with.

By the same Token a Master/Dom ONLY HAS the RIGHTS/Responsibility of submission Given to him in all areas-physically, emotionally, and financially-that have been thoroughly discussed and agreed upon BEFORE taking possession of a sub.

Any Dom/sub that only gives certain areas of responsibility to the other shows a lack of character and an understanding of what it means to be a true Dom/sub as far as i am concerned.

Responsibly can be made to mean obligation. That is why the Dom/sub relationship dynamic is a special one. It is far more about being in a mutual symbiotic relationship then the outside world realizes.

That being said, if anyone has any comments or are a Master looking for a slave feel free to contact me at Raven15@consolidated.net. Always a pleasure hearing from you.

Responsibility! What is it? Who's is it? and How do you get it?

Responsibility in a Dom/sub, Master/slave situation is the subject of allot of talk among the leather community. There is allot to talk about it seems, and who is responsible for what? Well there are the obvious responsibilities in a Dom/sub, Master/slave relationship. The slave to serve and make the Master/Dom happy and give them the gift of control, domination, Love and gratitude for the gift they are getting. The Master/Dom gives the gift of a level of freedom to the slave by his domination, control, Love, and gratitude for service. These are both very psychological in Nature and what drives the Dom/sub, Master/slave relationship to work. But there is some question about how far does that responsibility go. To answer this, it depends on the situation of the relationship. Whether it is a 24/7 one or one where the slave will work outside of the home or not. The responsibility of a Master/Dom is greater in the 24/7 situation then in any other. In the 24/7 instance, the Dom/Master has to provide insurance, retirement, and a means should something happen to either the slave or Master unexpectedly. Arrangements of a demise or the release of the Master/slave and the conditions that will apply. The same applies to the working slave situation as far as a plan for the demise of either party or the release of the slave so that the slave or sub is left with nothing to work with to move on. In the working slave situation, it depends on the level of control agreed upon and level of comfort the Dom/Master has with managing the finances of the slave/sub. In this situation, the Master is to be a Mentor and guide about money. Helping the sub/slave save, spend wisely, and prepare for the future. The Master/Dom need not worry about insurance if the sub can get some through the employer. How ever if he does not, then he should help the sub pick a plan that best suites him and have him pay for it. There will be some that say that no matter what the money a slave earns goes to the Master and the sub will have no control over it. That can be dangerous if the level of trust and love has not been achieved between the Dom/Master and the sub/slave. Those are using situations and not the emotional and psychological connection that each is trying to achieve with the relationship.There are allot of schemers out there so a word of caution. The slave/sub must be sure of the arrangements when money, death, and release are discussed. Though they are painful and tough things to deal with they are necessary. The sub/slave in his 20's or 30's may not think about the future, when they will retire form the working world and be 24/7 in the lifetime enslavement. As always, don't enter into something until it has been discussed thoroughly. That being said, the ULTIMATE responsibility falls on the individual them self. We are responsible for ourselves. Therefore, whether a Dom/Master or a sub/slave, you need to know the possible out comes should things not work out, or should something happen to either the sub/slave or the Dom/Master.
I had a Master approach me and tell me that the same things that make a great marriage make a great Dom/sub, Master/slave relationship. The sacrifice of the personal pleasure and desire to make the other happy and love.Part of that sacrifice is to cherish, protect, and preserve the relationship at all reasonable costs. Ensuring trust and love in the relationship by doing so.
well I will leave you as usual with my e-mail address if you want to chat or get in touch with me. Raven15@consolidated.net

Fetishes and Kinks Continued

It seems that my last entry caused a bit of discussion. Both among Masters and slaves and between the two. To the Masters/Sirs that felt I had misspoken about Masters leaving the slave alone and should be with the slave when used for groups, i deeply apologize. I didn't mean to offend anyone. It seems that i forgot about a vital part of the social structure of the leather community. That being the bond between Masters and Sirs. I had a Master approach me and tell me about it. To Him i am deeply grateful for explaining and pointing out this mistake. He explained that it was a great honor to have a Master hand his slave over to another Master. That by doing that, when letting another borrow and use the property in group situations, it is establishing a trust among the Masters. After all, What kind of Master would return property that has been infected or broken to the owning Master? The leather community is considered "on the fringe" of normal society, knowing and being around people of the same mindset is a comforting and positive thing. The same can be said of other slaves that bond when meeting. It seems i should have put in a qualifier about the type of Master i was talking about. I was not talking about the responsible and caring Master that ENTRUSTS his slave to another when he is gone and not around. I was speaking about the kind that has been at leather events and clubs and ties up his slave and then walks off for everyone to use at random. the kind that wants to see their slave suffer immensely and not in a serving way but with maleficence and intentionally doing harm. That is the kind that I think ,in my opinion, should not be a Master. It is the kind of Master or SIR that a slave should be wary of. Now I am not talking about punishment and discipline. That is a horse of a different color. There are slaves and Masters that go to the extreme level as I mentioned in an earlier entry. That is perfectly fine and I fall into that category, just not to the the intensity of blood and damage. I am talking about Masters that obviously disregard the sanctity of life. It says allot about character when A Master regards a slave in this way.

Flogging/Paddling/and Whipping. These are things that are part of being a slave and a Master. It is part of the dominance that arouses a Master as well as the slave. Intensity of the act depends on the slaves limits and if he wants to have them pushed and what the Master wants. Also a masochists health is impacted by this kind of kinky fun. It can leave scars and damage to the body that goes beyond the enjoyment of each other. Pushing limits can be a freeing and exhilarating thing to have happen as a slave. Especially when you see the look of appreciation and love on the Master's face when you go beyond your previous level. Expanding and growing as a person and a Master and slave is human nature. We have a need to learn new things and what a better way then to learn new things about ourselves and the ones we love.

Well I will leave with those thoughts in mind. As always, if you have any comments or are interested in this slave. you can e-mail me at Raven15@consolidated.net

Ouirks,Fetishes, and Kinks

I will try on this post to explore kinks and fetishes, To me they are the same thing, but others may argue different. When in a Master/slave relationship, hopefully for a lifetime, both must expect there to some of these things an integral part of the dynamics that makes the relationship work. As I have said before, i don't put limits on myself but few because in reality, the limits of a slave are set by the Master. After all, it is his wants and desires that are most important in the act of serving and being a real slave. Any absolutes that a slave OR a Master has, needs to be discussed before a slave submits or becomes the property of a Master. By absolutes, i mean anything that no matter what ,either the Master or the slave, will stop a session and and may be grounds for the relationship to end. Also for the Master, he should have the skill to know when he is pushing and expanding limits in training and not breaking absolutes and the spirit of the slave.I myself am open to all things but the following absolutes: Children(pedophiles should be terminated), Women (they make me sick), toilet( I am talking about shit eating!)ws is OK, Blood and cutting, and Permanent Marks unrelated to showing ownership. And of course, condoms, until or unless a recent neg testing is shown from within the last 5 days. Slaves should understand that fetishes and kinks , while expanding the horizons, they are a useful tool in the dynamic of the Master/slave relationship.

Groups- There has been allot of things said about groups and sharing of a slave. Some good and some bad. This is an area that should be discussed by the Master and slave before meeting. This is why chat, e-mail and phone conversations are important and becoming a slave should not be entered in lightly. If a Master want to share his slave all the time or a slave wants to be shared all the time , then to me it says something about the relationship and the two parties. To me it means that neither the Master nor he slave is ready to commit and appreciate the gift of service and the gift of ownership. How ever, i have heard that some Masters use groups for training and or punishment. The theory being that when a slave is tied down and gang fucked it will show him his place and what he is as property. The punishment for not obeying as a hint of what could happen again if the slave does not correct his behavior. In the case of a Master joining a session it would be a case of training. I myself am not into the group thing as a whole, but can see a Master using it as punishment, status re-enforcement, or training. I have heard of Masters that will have a slave suck cock from several Masters and other slaves to teach them how to do it to their satisfaction and deep throat. If a Master is going to use his slave with others then he has an obligation to the slave to protect him from harm and his health. A slave can look at a Master's property when meeting and see how well it is treated and taken care of to get idea how he will be as property. If a Master is going to let others use his slave then he should be there the entire time of his slaves use. If not, then anything could happen to the slave. The Master runs the risk of another doing something that will break the slaves spirit and forever be lost. As I said earlier, actions can demonstrate the level of maturity and commitment that exists in the relationship. I have heard of Masters that have taken slaves to bars/clubs/leather events and parties and after restraining the slave and gagging him , walks off and goes visiting and socializing leaving the slave to fend for himself. Lets face it, there won't be much fending off of harm if the Master is not right there by his side telling him he is safe and making sure he is. Condoms should always be used in this case and it is up to the slave's Master to make sure they are by being there!!! As well as making sure there is nothing done to harm his property in any way. That being said, i don't care for group or 3=way action but can see it as a useful tool if implemented properly.

Fists and Dildos- A word of caution here when it comes to fisting. A slave must be worked up to this service and not something to be done right off the bat. it take time and some patients to be able to serve in this manor. The same can be said of anal insertion of dildos(especially the huge ones) and butt plugs. There is nothing like the look of pleasure on a Master's face while he is inserting dildos and fists into a restrained slave while he moans from pleasure and pain. The pleasure a slave gets from serving his Master this wayis satisfying to both.

Well i will talk later on this subject of fetishes and kink. After all whole books have been written on it and I don't have the luxury of that, nor the pay-Ha Ha_ for it so I will end there. As always if you have any comments or information, you can reach me at raven15@consolidated.netOr yahoo IM phantomraven12001 is the id. Any Masters that want to talk to me can reach me the same way SIRS.

Training and More

As i have been talking with otherslaves and Masters about training and the things that i said in my last entry, It seems that i need to talk about it at more length. I used the analogy of traing and breaking in a Thoroughbred with out breaking the spirit of the horse as being similair to traning a slave. It seems that among Masters and slaves it is a prevelant problem that needs discussion. As with horse training you want to break in a slave so that he knows his place and submits, but if you break the spirit of the slave then you destry the desire to submit and the NEED to serve. This can only lead to a detrimental result. Either the slave starts going through the motions and becomes unsatisfied and unfulfilled in his life. Or the slave will leave and not be in contact with his inner self and may never return to being a slave. When you break the spirit of a slave it also destroys the meaning of life to a slave, at least a natural born slave. then he bcomes lost and confused.

Among the Masters and slaves i have spoken to, it seems to be more of a problem for extreme Masters and extreme slaves. Many times, from what I understand, the breaking of the spirit is a problem in this group. Many times breaking the spirit not only destroys desire in a slave but trust and bonding with a Master.While being etreme has its place, it is the intesity of extreme that is important. Only an experienced and knowledgeable Master that can read a slaves inner soul be using this type of training. While estreme training is eduactional in the firest session, it lets the Master and the slave know each others limits and establishes trust and bonding, The lever of intesity should not be something that is used every time. Afterall, a Slave craves to expand thier limits and please his Master by doing so. Where is the slave left to go if a Master breaks those limits and goes so far as to break the spirit of the slave. Then is bcomes a master of submission by fear and loathing, than about submission out of love, honor, and need to serve and please another man. The high full-throttle level of extreme training used in the firt session can and should be revisited and used as a useful tool. It lets a slave know that the Master cares enough about them to let them know thier place and what is expected of them, and as mentioned, what the slaves limits are and the best way to expand them. However, i think, the full-throttel level should not be used in every session. I know that some Masters will disagree with this and that is fine but hear me out. I, as a slave, appreciate and love a Master that uses it as a form of punishment for in appropriate behavior. But when the level is used just to abuse the slave, then we have a whole other set of issues htat i am not going to go into. And Afterall, if the samelevel is used in every session then the slave, as well as the Master, will beocme bored and disenchanted with each other and seperate. So you see, it takes a great bit of skill to be a Master and a slave. Also in the case that I described, it is essential that the Master and slave match in the extreme level that is sought from the relationship. This is why the time period between the initial chat and the first meeting is important. Masters and slaves run into trouble when they think they are ready to meet after a few chats and no phone conversations and e-mails. you have to know the person you are getting involved with. THe BDSM MAster/slve relationship is also a lifestyle. Thus we all need to remeber there is a life in a lifestyle. It isn't a 24hf porn flick. Interaction with a Master or slave out of the play session is just as important if no more so that in a session.

Well that is all for now and I hope this entry as enlightened those that read it. if you have any questions or comment, or a Master that is interested, you can e-mail me at Raven15@consolidated.net

The Master for me?!

Well i have said some things that relate to how I see things and will now attempt to say what it is that I NEED and WANT as a natural born submissive slave. I will disclose and expose my self and past in a way I have never really done.

First I have to say that while I am a very submissive and natural born slave, I am a very high spirited one. so my training and serving would be akin to the special way that you have to break in a Thoroughbred ( I was raised on a ranch). While breaking them in you have to balance that while not breaking the spirit of the horse. In that regard i try to balance my high spiritedness between being resistant enough for a Master to enjoy the dominance that He so richly Deserves and wants and being the submissive to make him proud. I suppose that is were the masochistic side of me lies. I NEED a very aggressive, demanding top Master to own me. one that isn't afraid to dominate me . It is that dominance that a natural born slave NEEDS and deeply desires in his soul. A MASTER that tells a natural born slave what to do and what he is and lazily goes through the motions of discipline and punishment with out praise and and true emotions is not what a slave needs or wants. One that gets in your face and tells you exactly what you are and what to do in the beginning of training is an essential part of my make up. As far as limits are concerned, i am of the belief that a slaves limits are determined by his Master with the exception of a few absolutes. My absolutes are children, women, scat, toilet(shit), blood and permanent harm or marks not associated with possession of ownership. Disclosing this masochistic side is something i would not have done until a few months ago. i enjoying working out and being something that my Master can be proud to own. I would hope that I have a Master that will let me continue to workout( if not forced for His pleasure) so that i could be the property of a proud Master. As a natural slave, i need to remind myself of my position and what I am to my Master. As for all the rest it is up to my Master. I, as a slave, Have no say so in that. he should be the no nonsense type that enjoys dominating by force if necessary i would like to find a mature Master over 40 that is a natural born Master and knows it. As far as working is concerned, i can work or not . Once again that is a decision left up to the Master. I have owned a cleaning co in the past so i am a very good domestic, and worked in the restaurant bus. for a longtime and can cook and can things.

My past. where to start. I was raised on a ranch by strict parents. They were much older than I and only have one left and she is 80. ten years ago I went to prison for a felony DWI. My father died while in my arms and if had a bad affect on me. i was in my early 20's when it happened. i have since gotten my life together and know who I am and what i NEED to have the life i want and deserve. I never had sex in prison, it was to risky, but it did expose me to real Dom/sub relationships. When i first go out I was on parole for awhile, which I knew would make it difficult to find a Master. there were the issues of transferring parole and all. so in many ways that left me feeling as if there wasn't a way to be what I was and no Master would want me. Thank God that is over! My career as an LCDC,Licensed Chemical Dependency Counselor, is so that any young gay or older gay men don't have to go through what I did to reach my inner self and like what I found there. It is something that plagues the gay community and not just the leather community. The past is something I cannot change and have accepted that. If a Master can only define a slave for their past and not their present, then perhaps he needs to take a look in his past and released what he is ashamed of.

well that is all for now. If you have any comments or want to know more you can e-mail me at raven15@consolidated.net If you are a Master that is interested, say something to me.

Reflections and Real Question

As I said in my last blog, it can sometimes be hard to accept the way that you are and reconcile it with the true core of your being. The same can be said for Masters as well as slaves. Many Masters realize they have a need to control and own a slave, but they too experience the pressures and influences of the society at large. Once again, there is a feeling that being that way means that something is wrong with you and that you are evil and vile. Quite the contrary, there is nothing evil and vile about being a Master when you have made the connection with the right slave. After all, both parties are consensual adults and they are both getting what they need and desire. Being a Master comes with a great responsibility. You have another human being to take care of and hopefully open yourself and heart up to.I think some Masters are afraid of this, especially the opening of the heart part.Once again, for both Master and slave, there is a compartmentalization and emotional disconnect with the inner self during a "session". That way when the play is over neither one has to deal with the consequences of what it means to themselves to have this be apart of their inner being. They can then say, " That was great buddy." pat each other on the back and go about their merry way until they think about getting together again. This way it isn't real and they aren't the people that society looks at and judges. we have to remember that we are all human beings and sexual at that. We are more alike than different.It is the day to day living as a Master and slave and its implications that frightens and keeps many from living the life that they NEED, want and deserve to be the happiest they will ever be in life, a meaningful life and one with purpose.

Another thing that keeps many Masters and slaves from coming together and having a full life is another of Society's ill. Age discrimination! Our society has reinforced the idea that you have to young, sometimes extremely so, to be of any value. That goes both ways for a Master and a slave. I am amazed at how many slaves will miss the opportunity to have a Master because they are older than 35 or 40. That is when you know they are really out for just some hot sex and not really being a slave as a lifestyle and reality. many don't realize that the older Master has experience on his side as well as stability in who and what they are. They are no longer looking for a career, finding out where they want to live. and feel the restrictions (however unrealistically) that they HAVE to be a certain way. They are more comfortable with themselves and their inner core and soul. They have a wealth of knowledge to teach a slave about being a slave. many times I think that slaves don't want to have older Masters because they are afraid that if they do, they might actually develop feelings for them. And i suppose many times they feel they can't be in control from the bottom if they are with an older Master. Which means they do not know what being a slave is all about and it is a game to them. The same can be said for Masters. Many Masters miss out on potential slaves because they think that they are worth anything being older than 35 or 40. It amazes me when a Master or a slave turns down the opportunity to have everything they are looking for, but say no because the Master or slave isn't young. While being attractive is important, that is why I am working out, they problem arises when expectation exceeds reality. Both Masters and slaves are seeking young looking Colt models when they each are the cover man for Bridge Trolls Monthly! and that can be said for any age not just older men! I have seen some 20 something trolls before!! it is sad when a Master turns down a slave that has all the qualities that he seeks and the maturity to commit to those things because they are over 35 or forty, The same is true of the older slave that turns down what they want because the Master is older than they, or they think a much younger Master will be what they want. They are once again looking for the fantasy and not the reality of what it means to be a slave and a Master. The same can be said of a Master in that, they are looking for a young man thinking that they will be able to keep them when at the younger ages they are somewhat fickle and still finding themselves and who they are. they are somewhere in the back of the mind I think finding an excuse not to fully invest in the young slave cause of the fear or knowledge that they will suddenly leave. Want total ownership but never achieving it and blaming the slave when one has to look inside themselves to see who is really to blame for not having what they want.

That being said, it begs to question." Are you seeking reality or a fulfillment of a fantasy?" You have to answer that question for yourself! any questions or comments can be sent to Raven15@consolidated.net

More What Is Up???

I have to say this First! I want to formally and publicly apologize to ANY and ALL Masters that I have chatted with in the past that I have mislead or or appeared to them as a player slave and wasn't real. As i have said in the first entry......it took along time for me to accept myself for what I am and that it is OK to be a Natural born slave and serve a Master. Which brings me to the first topic I would like to discuss. The issue of being REAL! The first thing you have to do is be real with yourself, whether you are a Master or a slave. Each has it's own set of responsibilities that must be faced head on with yourself in order to be the best Master or slave that you can be. Part of being real with yourself is acceptance and being OK with that acceptance. What I am talking about is self-esteem and self-realization.

As i have said, it took along time to accept and appreciate what i am and loving myself for it. i think this is the problem that is most prevalent on the slave side of the relationship and dynamic. In our "civilized" and "modern" world it is considered wrong to want to be with someone that whips, flogs, collars, makes you beg, is verbally abusive, demanding, and in control of every aspect of your life. And if you are That type of person that wants that in their life or as a way of life, then something must be wrong with YOU! Because of human nature's desire to be accepted and part of the group, many slaves have a hard time internalizing this and and living the life that they want, need, and deserve to be totally true to themselves and happy. A slave with compartmentalize this need they possess as an aspect of strictly sexuality and fantasy because it can be a hard thing to take and realize unless you have the right sell-esteem to begin with. For the gay slave even more so. Not only are they trying to be accepting of being gay, but to add that they are a born slave can make it seem insurmountable. i know that was the way it was with me. A slave in a chat room usually is really real about what they are seeking and what they are, but the conflict occurs when the realization that acting on it makes it TRUE! Sometimes it is the financial situation, family obligations, or being out in the country and not willing to move that makes the reconciliation of the need meshing with the reality a difficult thing to do. A born slave such as myself, definitely hungers,ravenously desires and Needs to serve a Master. It is accepting those desires with the right Master that can be tough. It has taken awhile but I have recently dug deep in myself and accepted that I am a natural born slave. I can now say that with pride at being that. I want to serve a Master proudly as his slave and property.
That being said, it doesn't mean that the same isn't true for a Master. But I will save that for next time. Any questions or comments can be sent to my e-mail at raven15@consolidated.net

What Is Up?!!!

I will tell you what I think about the Master/slave relationship and what it means. Grantede there will those that disagree but this i what i believe.

That being said, the Master/slave dynamic isn't about cock and balls and holes but about the exchange that happens on the inside of the mind and body. A slave, especially those that are true naturally born slaves, have an innate desire and yearning to serve another human being. It fills a part of their soul that can't be filled otherwise, at least in my case. A slave loves giving up control to a Master that he trusts. The way that is served has nothing to do with the satisfaction of serving.He wants to be dominated and controlled and abused because he feels loved by that and safe by that. He wants to give that kind of power to a man he can trust totally. It is the amount of control given and to what extent in their lives that is the variant between different slaves.He also has to be intuitive to the Master as to what makes him happy and what his wants are. This makes the Master/slave as much as a psychological/spiritual relationship as it does a physical one. and for the slave the act of surrendering ALL aspects of his life is also freeing and making the Master and his Master's happiness the total focus of his life.

as far as the Master is concerned, I think a Master takes great satisfaction from being able to dominate and control another human being. A Master get satisfaction not from just dominating but from the exertion of dominance. Let's face it, it would get boring if you had an automaton for a slave never needed discipline and was like a limp dishrag. Different Masters get satisfaction from different levels of force in the domination process. Tying a slave up and fucking him may be enough domination to satisfy one Master but another may want to paddle and make a slave cry and beg before he is satisfied with his domination and control of a slave. And to, that may be the only area of a slaves life that he wants to deal with, the sexual side. others want total control down to what a slave will wear, his employment, and how he will act 24 hrs a day.

with those beliefs of mine as a background, the trick is matching the right Master with the right slave. This can be difficult and brings me to the What's Up portion of today's blog.

i have noticed allot of Masters want x,y,and z from a slave and say they want it for a lifetime. Then there are the Masters that just want x,y,and z for a "session". What is frustrating for me is that in both cases they think they will get it from a twink (18-30yo). Then there are the twink slaves that are looking for a sugar daddy to take care of them and say they want to be a slave as a way to get what they want. The problem is that to many Masters and slaves think that it is only a physical attraction dynamic that makes a Master/slave relationship work. While physical appearance does have some play in it , That is why I am working out and losing weight and getting back into body building shape, it isn't or shouldn't be the only glue that keeps relationship together.I think that many Masters miss out on taking on a slave that is closer to their age than one with a vast difference. Say for example a 50yo who wants a 20yo for a slave. then that relationship would have to primarily be about the sugar daddy kind. The slave is tolerating any abuse or anything that is done to him not because he truly wants the Master to be happy and not because he loves serving a Master but because he wants his bills paid and a place to sleep that he doesn't have to pay for. By the same token there are some twink Masters that are passed over because they aren't "man" enough to take care of the slave is the reasoning and that they can't satisfy the slave. when it really boils down to the fact that a twink Master hasn't had enough time to have the wealth and level of financial security that a twink slave wants..It is said that a Master/slave relationship doesn't last very long. I think that is true when the relationship is based on strictly the physical and the spiritual doesn't have a place in it. and then there is the gap of knowledge and experiences that are lacking in common when one is allot older than the other. And then there is the plain old thing of life. An older Master may pass on in a short time with a younger slave( meaning allot younger) leaving the younger to go about the sugardaddy/Master hunt again. When a Master and a slave are close in age, then they can relate to each other outside of the bedroom and the act of serving will be more on the same plane for each thus, fulfilling the spiritual/psychological needs of both. A Master and slave both in their forties or forties and fifties may be better able to satisfy each others needs as a whole person rather than being just a good fuck. And the same goes for all Master /slave relationships, that they would be more fulfilling if each party was closer in age and mind set.

Then you get into who is real and who isn't. Which begs to question who is serious and who isn't. Becoming a Master/owner is a very serious thing. Just as, becoming a slave/property is a very serious thing. therefore, if meeting in an online situation it should take a month or so of chatting online about different aspects of each others life to really get to know the other person and if a real time meeting would be the next step. The level of commitment and one that is matched is very important. It amazes me the Masters that think one five minute chat the first time you meet and you are to be willing to spend a big bunch of money for gas and drive 2-3 hrs to get where they are or you aren't serious. One doesn't buy a car on the first test drive or the first car they drive but you are supposed to make a life altering decision in that five minute chat. That tells me 1.) that the Master isn't serious and is only looking for a hook up and 2) the are not mature enough to be a Master no matter what their age is. The same can be said for a slave that will just up and run without thinking. They are not real slaves or born slaves they are hedonistic predators.

well I guess i have ranted on enough for now. Drop me a line and tell me what you think. I am always open to hearing form others that I may learn from.