We Need a Bigger Sash

If life was like the Boy Scouts and gave out patches and badges, then we in the leather community need a bigger Sash to put them on. The last few entries about reality have caused a bit of a stir with the people that I chat with. I therefore, feel the need to expand some on that. The entry that caused a bit more comments was the one called Down The Rabbit Hole. It seems I struck a nerve when I said that a Master or slave could be present but not real. The going through the motions as it were. What I am talking about is that if you are really a Master or a slave you live it and not play at it. Yes there are some realities that have to be dealt with. Certain, concessions or compromises, that must be made to live in the real world. You can't go around in leather chaps and a jockstrap all the time. There is life to be lived, however, even when the leather is off a Master/slave knows who and what they are. It takes alot of courage for those in the gay leather community to be out and about. Well, any leather community really. It takes an inner strength to look deep inside one's self and thoroughly examine themself honestly and objectively. And by doing so, one comes into thier own as a person and a human being. To face yourself and say you are a BDSM Leather man and bravely go out in leather to socialize with other leather men. It is not for the faint of heart for sure.To realize that you are a natural Master or Natural slave and be ok with that is an amazing thing. It takes a certain level of healthy self-esteem and self love.That is why many in the leather community would get the Badge Of Courage for living the life of a Master/slave. That brings me to another badge. The Badge Of Honor. The reality is that if you have done all this work in finding yourself, you owe it to yourself to live an honorable life. To be honest and have integrety so that the next generation of Masters/slaves have someone to look up to and have as a role model. Someone that they can look at and know that the feelings and things that make up who and what they are, are valid. At many leather bars and events, they have contests where the prize is a sash across the chest saying"Leather Master'08" or "slaveboy'08" and we appluad their accomplishment. But how much better and note worthy would it be if the sash said Honest Leather Master or or Honorable slaveboy. Unfortunately, many times these winners are not regulars and get the title by looks alone. If you are involved in the leather community or the local leather bar and know someone that is truely living as a Master/slave go up to them and tell them they need a bigger sash. They may not know what you are referring to, but after you explain you will have a good friend in the end. I know that I have gone on long enough. as always, send your comments to me at reaven15@consolidated.net have a great year ending!

To Be Or Not To Be.....There's the Rub

Well it seems that my "Down the Rabbit Hole" entry has caused quite a stir among the Master/Doms and sub/slaves that I am in contact with. The subject was reality and all that that entailed. The fact that slaves were ignored after talking of meeting and Vice Versa. I forgot to mention the slaves that financially can't up and meet a Master across the state or country that becomes ignored. But that isn't why i am writing this entry for you today.
It seems that my Rabbit Hole entry cause some Master/SIRS and slave/subs to feel insulted, while others thought i have nailed it right on the head. This gave me pause to think and wonder why the difference. With my curiousity peeked, I had to ask around and see if I could find the answer. And, amazingly, i think I did. At least as far as i'm concerned I see the reason. As I said in the entry, reality is subjective and so has different meanings for different people. That being said, let me explain. It seems that alot fo Masters/slaves were insulted because they showed up at these meetings, and yet were ignored afterward. They couldn't understand why. Afterall, they showed up, and didn't that let the other party know they were real. With this new concern about reality i started looking into it. I have come to some shocking conclusions and misconceptions that i and many have. Just because you show up at these meetings for a session doesn't neccesarily mean you are real according to many of my sources. After hearing the explinations they gave I have to agree. ok, so you agree to meet and you show up. now you are in a session and your fantasy is being fulfilled. The problem lies with the fact that you are just going through the motions. The fantasy turned you on, but the reality makes you go through the motions to justify a means of meeting. That goes for both sides of the coin as far as I'm concerned. A Master that gets off simply because he is hearing what he wants to hear and is going through the motions to hear it isn't a real Master/Dom as far as i'm concerned. The same applies to a slave that says what a Master wants to hear and they want to hear them saying to a Master/Dom to get off, isn't any more real thatn if each were watching a Leather porno. It is the intensity and belief in what you are doing that makes you real or not. It isn't the fact that you showed up. When a Master goes through the domination motions and really isn't causing the sub to submit, then is he really a Master/Dom? And the slave/sub that says what a Master/Dom wants to hear but doesn't really mean it or believe realy a slave/sub? I DON"T think so. A real Master knows when he is really dominating and making a slave submit. They are the ones that are truly natural born Masters/Doms and are real. The same goes for slaves/subs. The ones that are really made to submit and love it and mean what they tell a Master/Dom are real and not motioners as i call them. It reminds me of the old joke where the woman says in monotone....."".stop stop your killing me you are so big"....the sarcastic refference can apply here. A Master that doesn't really amke a sub submit wethere they like it or not isn't any more reall that a slave that isn't made to submit to something they don't agree with is a slave. i guess what I'm trying to say is that the ppl that are living a fantasy will say and do what ever it takes to get off. The Real Masters and slaves will need and want the extreme of a play session and live it daily as a part of their life.
well as usual if you have any comments you can send them to raven15@consolidated.net and if yu are a real Master you can reach me at the same address if you want a real slave.

Hello, Howdy, Greetings, Salutations and the southern " How Do?"

It has come to my attention that there seems to be a bit of confusion about how to meet a Master or slave. I have heard from both on the subject and have made a few observations in the leather chat room I frequent. Other than the traditional way in a leather bar or by joining a local leather club, there is the chat room. I don't know if it is the anonimity of it all or that we have digressed in our social skills, but the level of rudeness and attitudes that prevail are getting out of control. What has always meant politeness is now suddenly a form of leachery. The simple act of saying hello has suddenly become a leacherous hit on the object of the salutation. In other words, it is assumed that if someone says hello to you, they automatically are trying to get into your pants. Of course we know what happens when one assumes. Given the venue and place, the connotation is unwarranted. I mean think about it. You are in a Chat room. You are supposed to be there to chat. How can you do that if you don't say hello or introduce yourself? I have noticed to my disappointment, that it is usually the young men that take offense. It appears that when in a chat room, according to the way they react, you are there to say hi and then immediately set up a fuck date. So suddenly, when someone says hello they think that the next words will be cyber or setting a playdate. If an olderman says hello to a younger one, the connotation is implied that the only reason they are saying hello is to get them in bed. This is a sad state of affairs from a societal standpoint. Many people on the net are isolated in the country or can't be open about themselves. So, it is only natural that the chat rooms are a way to meet people. But to meet you have to say hello! REcently a Master, as was his nature, was saying hello to people as they came in to the room wether he knew them or not. Just being polite. After several days of saying hello to an individual that never reponded, he got the shock of his life. The individual suddenly went off on him and gave him the third degree. The problem is that when someone says hello to you , it is common courtesy to say hello back, not ignore the person wether you like them or not. It is called being civilized and is supposed to seperate us from the animals. The lack of asknowledgement when a person, let alone a Master, says hello to a person is astounding. Usually they are silent in the room and then wonder why no one talks to them and they are having a hard time finding that Master or slave. It is a two way street here. Younger men saying hello to older men, other than being a rarity, doesn't mean they are out for the older man's money by using sex to get it. That seems that is the way that some Masters have interpreted a younger man saying hello. The cynicism has to stop. How is a slave that is using the chat room as a venue to meet the Master of his dreams, has the attitude they have when one says hello to them. They ignore them or go off on them. I am not talking about being stalked in the room here, just someone noticing the same person in the room and wanting to say hello. Masters are guilty of the same thing as well. A slave says hello to show respect and the Master ignores them and doesn't acknowledge them. The sad part is that these are the same Masters and slaves that complain they can't meet the right Master or slave. How could they? They are to busy fronting an attitude as if they are better than anyone. All I have to say about that is........LOOK in the mirror SIR/boy.....you are in a chat room not the Ritz Carlton. You are no more grander than anyone else! Be polite and acknowledge when someone says hello to you and you might not be going to the chat room at all because you will be to busy with someone you have met to be there!
As usual if you have any comment or are a Master looking for a slave you can reach me at raven15@consolidated.net

Down the Rabbit Hole!

After talking with Masters and other slaves, I felt compelled to write this entry. It seems that there is alot of concern over the fact that people aren't real. I have touched on this subject before but think I need to go into some detail with this entry. It seems that there are alot of complaints on both sides of the fence about this. Masters/Doms saying that the slaves/boys they talk to aren't real. The slaves/boys claim that the Masters/Doms they talk to aren't real as well. There seems to be a vast difference in opinion of the definition of what is real. Masters claim that the slaves/boys they chat with in the chat rooms just want to cyber or they don't want to meet. They seem to disappear after a Master/Dom mentions coming for a visit. Suddenly, Masters claim that they are suddenly ignored. Slaves claim that they are ignored by Masters when they mention meeting as well. I have seen this happen and agree that there is a significant problem of reality in the leather community. But lets face some facts, anytime you are chatting for the first time and the Dom or Sub says they will be right over or that they want you to come the next day, then they are not living in reality. Getting into a Master/slave relationship is not something that you enter into lightly, as I have said before. There are questions that have to be asked and answered from both parties. Sometimes you can tell the ones that are real and living in reality by the answers that they give. Slaves need to ask what happens if they need a doctor. This becomes really important if the slave is to be 24/7 and not work outside the home.. Who is going to pay for it and take them? What does the slave do if something should happen to the Master. Masters need to know if a slave will still take care of them if they become disabled or get sick with a long recovery. Slaves need to know the same thing and about what will happen should the Master die. What happens to property and assets? Will the slave then be thrown out on the streets with nothing to start over with? Some slave inherit property from family and a Master may want to know what happens to that should the slave die. There are just a few of the questions that need to be asked and answered. From the answers, many times you can tell if the person is real. A REAL Master/dom will have answers that are caring, logical, and given allot of thought. The same can be said of a slave as well. It is in chatting for a few weeks and through telephone calls, can you tell if each party has thought long and hard about this lifechanging decission. It amazes me when a Master wants you to come right over and asks or demands that you do in the first chat you have with them. They are more interested in a fantasy then what is entailed in living the life of a Master/slave. After all is said and done however, reality is Relevant. Depending on your situation, depends on the definition of what is real. It is through thorough communication that each will have an understanding of what is reality for the other person. Then based on that, the decission to meet can be established. Otherwise just as Alice did, you are going through a rabbit hole into wonderland. And everyone knows that Wonderland isn't real or only exists for a fleeting moment in time. Our lives, however, are not fleeting and so it takes time to make the decission to get into a Master/slave relationship. It also takes time to find the right Master/slave match. A bunch of bed hopping isn't the answer. So everyone should take time when looking for the match of a lifetime. That is the real reality of it all.
As usual if you have any comments or are a Master looking for a slave you can contact me at reaven15@consolidated.net

If We Were Only like Dorian Grey

The story goes that Dorian Grey made a deal with the devil. His portrait would age rather than he but he was to never look upon it or he would die. That was the way that he stayed youthful and handsome for well over a hundred years. To bad we can't be like that in real life. Age has got to be one of the most irritating things to have to deal with.And the M/s community is not immune to it. What i am talking about is something that I have mentioned before. Older Dom/Masters that only look at a twink for a sub/slave. I have talked with several Masters and they all don't look at a boy unless he is under 30. This is a source of concern for those of us slaves that are older. I was in a chat room the other day and a sub mentioned that if you don't get owned in your forties you might as well give up. That you don't have a chance. Well i have news for him, Masters/Dom's don't even look at sub/slaves in their forties. and barely once they turn thirty. It amazes me when i hear a Dom/Master complain that they don't have anything in common with their boy. What do you expect when there is 30-40yrs difference in ages! I love Masters in their forties and fifties. Many older slaves do as well. What is wrong with a Dom/sub relationship when they are around the same age? Is it so wrong to have a Master/Dom that is a year or so older than the sub/slave? They say that the leather M/s relationship doesn't last very long. Perhaps it is because of this rampant age difference that pervades the community. Finding a Dom/Master that is around your own age would seem to be a better match than the bigger age differences. You can, after all, relate to each other outside of the bedroom and be able to build a life together. It would also seem that if we start looking for those around our age then the game playing would be held down to a minimum. There would be less fear involved as i mentioned in my last blog. A Master/Dom would know that the sub/slave was with him because of who he is and not what he has materialistically. That the sub is there because he wants to be serving him. He doesn't have to worry about the slave being there and looking for another Dom/Master while he is serving him. Sub/slaves would not be after a Dom/Master's money or things. Then the true Dom/sub, Master/slave relationship can happen. The needs of each party are met without anything getting in the way. Perhaps then there would be more love between Doms/subs and Masters/slaves. That being said, it would allow for longer relationships to develope and last. I, myself, am looking for a lifetime commitment. i don't care about how much money he has or doen't have, but that he is the dom/Master that i need in my life as a natural slave. Then there will be a sense of peace that is felt by a sub/slave when he has the Master that he was meant to have and owned. well that is all I have for now i will try to post more often in the future. As always, If you have any thoughts or comments send them to me at raven15@consolidated.net or if you are a Master that would be interested in having me as yours.